I dragged myself out of bed again, exhausted before the day even began. It had been weeks now since I'd stopped praying or reading my Bible. God felt distant, silent. I saw no point in continuing a one-way conversation with the ceiling.
As I boiled water for my morning tea, I caught a glimpse of my Bible on the kitchen counter. Anger swelled up in me again. Why had God stopped listening? Why did it feel like my prayers just bouncing off the ceiling lately?
With a sigh, I opened the book randomly. My eyes fell on Psalm 27:14 - "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
I nearly laughed at the irony. Wait for the Lord? I had been waiting and praying for weeks now with no answer. My health was getting worse while God sat silent.
Still, something about the verse gave me pause. Wait for the Lord...not just once but twice. The emphasis struck me. I realized that in my prayers, I had been demanding that God move according to my timing and will. But real faith was not just believing when I got what I asked for. It was trusting God even when I didn't understand His timing and plan.
Could it be that God was still working even in the silence? Perhaps there were purposes being worked out that I couldn't yet see. Ways in which my suffering was refining my faith and drawing me closer to Him in the darkness.
I glimpsed a small ray of hope piercing the gloom that had settled over my heart. God had not abandoned me after all. He was still worthy of my trust and praise - not just when circumstances were going my way, but especially in the painful moments when His plan was unclear.
There in my kitchen, I made a choice - I would wait on the Lord. Not passively waiting for circumstances to change, but actively trusting Him and finding small ways to praise Him every day, no matter how I felt. My situation may not have changed yet. But my attitude shifted from despair to determined hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment