Friday, April 12, 2013

Gotta Love This Lawyer

You can relate to this if you have ever dealt with a government bureaucrat. Cheers to this lawyer!

Part of rebuilding New Orleans (after Katrina) often caused

residents to be challenged with the task of tracing titles to their

homes... back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich

with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been

passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it

quite difficult to establish ownership.

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.. He was told

the loan would be granted if he could prove "satisfactory title" to

a parcel of property being offered as collateral. It took the lawyer

three months to track down the full title to the property which

dated back to 1803. After sending the information to the FHA, he

received the following reply.

( Actual reply from FHA):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan

application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of

Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have

prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you

have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to

1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to

clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

Actual response):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I

note that you wish to have title extended further than the 206 years

covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated

person in this country, particularly those working in the property

area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the United

States from France , in 1803 the year of origin identified in our

application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the

title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France ,

which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain . The land

came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the

year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been

granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish

monarch, Queen Isabella. The good Queen Isabella, being a pious

woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the

precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her

jewels to finance Columbus 's expedition... Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know,

is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted,

created this world.

Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of

the world called Louisiana . God, therefore, would be the owner of

origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time,

the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God's original

claim to be satisfactory.

Now, may we have our damn loan?"

The loan was immediately approved.